Dear Shredder, I Love You

When I was a child, I played childish games. I didn’t know any better. I turned to Eeny, Meeny, Miney, and Moe to help me make tough decisions. Eventually I realized they were just relying on random chance, so I was glad to let them go.

Pro and Con later stepped in, and they filled the void. They helped me analyze a situation from various angles, and I will always be grateful to them. But the truth is, a pro often becomes a con with a second glance, so I had to move on. We’re still friends; I won’t lie. But that’s all.

Then I met you.

Now that I’m an adult, my decisions are more nuanced, and I can’t rely on silly games any longer. There are no easy answers.

Photos and tax records aren’t up for discussion. But do I need to keep a paper copy of an essay viewing a beloved children’s book through the lens of The Communist Manifesto? Probably not. That’s where you come in.

Clunky, loud, dangerous, and messy. You don’t make my choices for me. Instead, you help me make my decisions stick. In a moment of strength, I reach for you.

Together, there is no paper dragon we can’t conquer.